Paper Mario Uncut
by Flying Pichu
Summary: This is the other side of Paper Mario!I know lame summary but it's good okay?
1. The Prologue Pt I

_Disclaimer_

Hello ppl, I have nothing to say accept that I hope you like this story!

Chapter 1

The Prologue pt 1

We begin our story at Mario's house and as usual he is sitting on his lazy ass doing nothing, along with Luigi who is sitting across from him staring at him for no apparent reason.

" What the hell are you looking at?" Mario shouted. " You're really creeping me out!"

" What did I do?" Luigi asked." Can't I just look at my brother?"

" No, you can't!" Mario argued "You can't just stare at people like that!"

"…Whatever…" Luigi said giving up.

_Meanwhile Parakarry was outside putting mail in Mario's mailbox._

" Here's your friggin mail!" Parakarry yelled throwing a letter at the mailbox and flying away. Luigi came out of the house and saw the letter on the ground.

" You could have at least made an effort to put the mal in the mailbox!" Luigi yelled throwing a rock toward Parakarry…and missed. Luigi went back in the house and waved the letter in front of Mario.

" Guess who you have mail from." Luigi said in a sing song voice.

"…Peach?" Mario mumbled nonchalantly.

" How'd you know?" Luigi asked.

" If it's not a bill, it's from Peach." Mario said with a yawn.

" Okay, then I'll read it to you." Luigi said opening the letter.

" I am capable of reading my own mail thank you very much! Mario said standing up. " But since I don't feel like I guess you'll have to read it to me."

"…Right." Luigi said staring at Mario. " Well anyway…"

Dear Mario,

I am throwing a party for no reason at my castle today. There will be food, drinks, and fun party games! I would really be happy if you would come and have fun with us Mario! Oh, and if you want you can bring Luigi too! Okay hope to see you soon!

Sincerely,

Peach

" What did she mean that you can bring me if you want to?" Luigi said angrily.

"It means you're not important." Mario said bluntly.

" Well are you going?" Luigi asked.

" I guess." Mario said slumping down in his chair. Mario got up and walked out the door, Luigi following behind. As he walked through Toad Town toads came from everywhere.

" Hi, Mario!" greeted one Toad.

" Wanna play with us?" asked another toad.

" No I don't, now get away from me." Mario replied. "I'm on my way to a party."

" Oh can we come?" a toad asked grabbing onto Mario's arm.

" Get your hands off me you freak!" Mario shouted trying to shake the toad off him. When he got him off millions of toads swarmed around him.

" Quick lets make a break for it." Luigi said pointing at a gap between the toad stampede. Luigi ran toward the gap as fast as he possibly could. When he got out he noticed that Mario wasn't beside him.

" Mario get out of there!" Luigi yelled. Suddenly Mario jumped out of the crowd with a chainsaw and Toads went running everywhere.

" You always have to do things the violent way, don't you?" Luigi said with a sigh.

" You shut up!" Mario replied tossing the chainsaw aside. " That's why no one likes you now, you're way too nice!"

"Sometimes I wonder if you're really my brother Mario." Luigi said shrugging.

" I feel the same way." Mario murmured. Then they both continued toward the castle. When they arrivd they went inside.

" Well I'm going to stay here and mingle a little." Luigi said smiling.

" You do that…," Mario said walking away. After leaving Luigi, Mario went up to one of the guards.

" You should go see the princess Mario." Said the guard. " She should be in her room."

" Oh goody." Mario said sarcastically. Then Mario headed toward Peach's room. When he came to a big corridor he saw Peach standing in front of her room.

" Hi Mario!" Peach yelled waving excitedly.

" Uh…hi.." Mario said a little scared. Peach went up to Mario and grabbed his hand.

" Why don't you come on the balcony with me and watch the scenery?" Peach said pulling him towardd her room.

" Um…actually I want to-" Mario began.

" YOU ARE COMING WITH ME TO WATCH THE SCENERY!" Peach shouted .

" okay…" Mario squeaked. Just as Peach began dragging Mario by his collar to her room Bowser came crashing through the window.

" Bwahahahahah,it is I Bowser here to capture Princess Peach….again!" Bowser announced.

"What the hell Bowser!" Mario yelled. " Why can't you come through the window like a normal person?"

" It's for dramatic effect, you idiot!" Bowser said a little irritated. "Anyway the Princess is mine!"

" That's right, and you can't stop us!" a mysterious magickoopa who suddenly appeared beside Bowser cackled.

" Who the hell are you?" Mario yelled.

" Why I'm Kammy Koopa!" the magickoopa replied.

" Bowser what makes you think you can take her this time?" Mario asked ignoring Kammy.

" Because…I have this!" Bowser replied pulling out a star shaped object. " It's a star rod."

" Man we are really getting desperate." Mario said under his breath. " We had to rip stuff off of Kirby."

" Silence!" Bowser roared." Suddenly the ground began to shake vigorously.

" Bowser what the hell did you do?" Mario asked trying to keep his balance.

" I built my castle under your castle and gave it the ability to fly. Bowser said proudly.

" Why and how?" Mario asked.

" Grrr, I don't have time for all these questions!" Bowser growled. " Now we fight!"

Battle Mode Start 

" You can't beat me Bowser." Mario scoffed.

" And why not?" Bowser said confused.

" Because if you did Nintendo would be out of business." Mario said looking at his nails.

" We'll just see about that!" Bowser said using the star rod to power up. Then Bowser ran up to Mario and scratched him doing 100 damage.

" Hey you can't do that!" Mario said befor toppling over.

" Oh, but I just did." Bowser said laughing.

" No duh." Peach

" Aren't you worried about Mario?" Kammy asked.

" Oh yeah!" Peach said realizing her mistake. " Oh no Mario!"

" I can't believe it…." Bowser said in disbelief. " I actually won!"

" Yes my lord you did!" Kammy said patting him on the back.

" Well I don't need him anymore so I'll just get rid of him." Bowser said walking up to Mario's lifeless body.

" Good-bye Mario!" Bowser said knocking Mario out the window. " And good riddance!"

Then Mario's body floated gently to the ground like a feather. You know why? Because he's made of paper hence the name Paper Mario, YAAAAAAY! Well anyway this is the part where I ask you random questions to keep you in suspense! Okay here goes! Is Mario dead? Where will he land? Is the Mushroom kingdom doomed? How did Bowser get his castle under Peach's castle? Why did he do it? And where the heck did Kammy come from? Find out on the next chapter of Paper Mario Uncut! Well accept where Kammy came from and why and how Bowser put his castle under Peach's castle.

**Authoress's Notes**

Well what do you think? Well I hope you guys like it because I aim to please! I know that those toads didn't crowd around Mario in the game but I thought it would be funny! Well please review and tell me what you think and if there is anything I should change.


	2. The Prologue Pt II

Disclaimer 

Hello everyone for the people that did review thank you very much! Anyway I own no one in this story. Enjoy!

_The Prologue Pt II_

"What was that?" said an unknown voice." I thought I heard a crash here."

" Oh my god!" said the voice. " Dad there's a dead body out here!"

" Oh wait he's still breathing." The voice said in relief. "I guess I'll bring him with me."

" **Mario,Mario." Said a different unknown voice." DAMN IT, MARIO WAKE UP!"**

" **Well anyway, I need your help." Said the voice. " I am one of the 7 star spirits and Bowser has scattered us around the Mushroom Kingdom."**

" **I need you to come to Star Summit and I'll tell you the rest. "Said the voice. " Please come you're our only hope!" **After the voice faded Mario got up groggily.

" Oh man…" he said dizzily. " What the hell was that?" Suddenly a Toad came walking in.

" Oh good, you're awake Mario." The toad said happily. " I was afraid you would never wake up."

" Yeah well I'm fine." Mario mumbled. " Where am I anyway?"

" You're in a small village inhabited by a few Goombas." The Toad said opening the door a little. "They saved you." Then the Toad heard Mario mutter something under his breath.

" What's wrong?" the Toad said concerned.

" It's nothing." Mario said getting out of the bed. " I just had this wacked out dream about this star who had a huge mustache.

" Well sometimes your dreams mean something." The Toad replied. " Or maybe you're crazy."

" Excuse me, but who asked you?" Mario said annoyed.

" Well you should go talk to the Goombas here before you go." The Toad said before leaving Mario.

" What an idiot." Mario huffed. When he walked out of the house a Goomba with a blue cap came running up to him.

" Oh my gosh" the young Goomba said in disbelief. " You're Mario."

" Well duh!" Mario replied.

" I'm your biggest fan Mario!" the Goomba said hopping gleefully. " My names Goombario!"

" Well whoop dee doo." Mario said sarcastically walking away. Then he saw a female Goomba who looked slightly older than the one he just saw.

" Oh thank goodness you're okay, I thought you would never wake up." The female goomba said a hint of relief in her voice. " My name is Goomama."

" Right…" Mario said trailing off. Suddenly another female Goomba came running up to Mario sobbing hysterically.

" Oh Mario I'm so glad you're okay!" the Goomba said sobbing harder. " I thought you were dead!" Then Goombario came behind the crying Goomba and nudged her back.

" Goombaria stop kissing up to Mario." Goombario said angrily. " You're embarrassing me."

" Whatever Goombario you're just jealous." Goombaria replied quickly drying her tears. As Goombario and Goombaria continued bickering Mario headed for the gate.

" This place is way to weird for me." Mario said walking to the gate. " I'm getting the hell out of here." As Mario walked to the gate he noticed another Goomba in front of the gate. The Goomba noticed Mario behind him and smiled.

" Hello I'm-" the Goomba started.

" Let me guess, Goompapa?" Mario said carelessly.

" Why yes." Goompapa said astonished at Mario comment. " How did you know?"

" Eh, lucky guess." Mario shrugged. " What are you doing over here?"

" I'm fixing this stupid gate." Goompapa said angily. " The earthquake that went on recently broke it."

" Bummer.." Mario said as he walked into the one house in the village. When he walked in he saw an elderly Goomba standing right in front of the door.

" Hello I'm Gooma." The Goomba said happily.

" What is up with the names in this town?" Mario asked quite rudely.

" You should go see my husband." Gooma replied ignoring Mario. " He is out on the balcony."

"That's just great." Mario grumbled walking out on the balcony.

" Hello I'm Goompapa." Said the Goomba that was sitting out on the balcony.

" Uh…hello?" Mario said sweatdropping. " What are you doing?"

" Oh I'm just fixing this balcony." Goompa said turning around. " Now go away I'm working."

"Fine you old geezer." Mario replied going back inside.

" Hello!" Gooma said cheerfully. Mario ignored her and went outside. When he got outside he saw that Goompapa finished fixing the gate.

" Hey, I finished fixing the gate." Goompapa said as Mario walked up to him.

" Yeah I can see that…" Mario replied. Suddenly Kammy Koopa came flying up to the gate.

"Good job Mario, you managed to survive the fall." Kammy Koopa laughed ..er … cackled.

"Shut up you hag!" Mario said pointing at Kammy.

"Well I never!" Kammy said angrily.

" Hey dad what's that ugly thing flying in the sky?" Goombaria said coming from no where.

" All of you are so rude." Kammy said getting angrier. " I'll just have to teach you a lesson." Kammy waved her wand and a giant block fell on the gate.

" Well that's just great." Mario said sitting on the ground. " Now I can't get out of this wacked out town."

" Well no matter." Kammy said. " You won't live long enough to be a problem to Lord Bowser, so I'll let you live." After saying that Kammy flew away.

"I'm getting really sick of this crap." Mario said standing up. " I'm just going to jump over this stupid block.

" You can't do that!" Goompapa shouted.

" And why not?" Mario asked.

" Well… you just can't!" Goompapa replied. " It's physically impossible."

" Maybe for you." Mario said. "But I can make that jump."

" Well at least go inside and get the hammer from Goompa." Goompapa pleaded. " So we can get through.

" Well I do need a hammer." Mario said pondering for a minute. " Fine I'll get the stupid hammer and break the block, but afterwards I'm leaving." Then Mario went inside and through the door to the balcony.

" Hey old man give me your hammer." Mario yelled. " Hey where are you?" Then Mario looked down and saw that nothing was there.

" Wasn't there a balcony here?" Mario said still looking down. " Is this a fluke, why am I still standing?" Then Mario finally realized that it wasn't a fluke, and that the balcony was indeed gone.

"Ooohhh craaaap." Mario yelled falling to the ground. When he reached the bottom he saw Goompapa standing near the pieces of wood that was once the balcony.

"How the hell did this happen?" Mario asked scratching his head.

"Don't ask…"Goompa said discouraged. " Anyway we need to get back to the village."

" Well I'll need your hammer to break the block in front of the gate." Mario said holding out his hand. " So give it here."

"Heh, um..see this is what happened…" Goompa chuckled nervously. " I kind of dropped it around here somewhere."

" Fantastic…" Mario sighed. " Well I guess we better find it."

So Mario searched around the area for Goompa's lost hammer. When they finally found out that they were getting no where they headed to another part of the forest to search.

" Why don't you check in the bushes over there?" Goompa asked.

" Eh, okay." Mario replied walking over to the bushes. He searched through the bushes and suddenly the hammer popped out.

" Whoop di do." Mario said sarcastically. " Okay let's go."

" Wait don't you want to check the trees for stuff?" Goompa asked.

"….Why?" Mario asked.

" Just do it." Goompa said pushing Mario toward a tree.

" Okay, gosh." Said Mario. Mario used the hammer to shake one of the trees and a doll came out of one.

" Oh my, that's Goombaria's doll." Goompa said. " You should bring it back to her."

" What's it doing in a tree?" Mario asked bewildered.

" Anyway we should get going." Goompa said walking ahead of Mario.

" Whatever." Mario sighed beginning to walk. Then Mario heard a cry form Goompa and saw him running toward him.

" What the heck is wrong with you?" Mario asked looking at Goompa. Then he saw a young Koopa Troopa still in it's egg run up to him.

" What are you doing here on my playground." He yelled hysterically.

" What's the big deal?" Mario asked. " It's not like we're taking anything."

"I don't care, you're not supposed to be here!" he shouted. " You will pay!"

Battle Mode Start! 

" Oh Mario, you won't have to worry about this guy." Goompa said, " This is Jr. Troopa, he…"

" I don't have time for this." Mario said as he pushed past Jr. Troopa.

" H-Hey you can't just leave a battle like that!" Jr. Troopa yelled.

Battle Mode End! 

" Let's just get out of here." Mario said to Goompa.

"You haven't seen the last of me!" Jr. Troopa shouted. After they left Jr. Troopa, Mario and Goompa was back where they started.

"Now where do we go?" Mario asked.

" We just keep going down this path and we should be back at the village." Goompa replied.

" Fine let's just go.." Mario said.

Mario and Goompa continued down the path and Mario had to fight numerous Goombas in the process. Goompa was no help to Mario at all ,but of course Mario didn't care. Eventually they made it back to the gate.

" We finally made it." Goompa said in relief. Mario opened the gate and saw Goombario and Goombaria come up to them.

" Goompa, I'm glad you're back!" Goombario yelled happily.

" Goompa don't ever disappear like that again!" Goomabaria said crying.

" What a bunch of wimps." Mario thought.

" I'm glad to be back." Goompa said. " Oh Mario I have something in here for you, wait here please."

" Okay whatever." Mario responded. After Goompa went inside Goombario went up to Mario.

" Mario you are so cool." Goombario said excitedly. " If you weren't here Goompa would be a goner for sure."

" Kid, your cheery attitude is really pissing me off." Mario said annoyed. " Get away from me." Just as he said that Goompa came out of the house.

" Here you go Mario." Goompa said handing Mario a Power Smash. " This is my way of saying thank you."

" Gee..uh.. thanks." Mario said.

" Mario I have something to ask you." Goompa said. " Could you please take Goombario with you?"

" Really!" Goombario asked happily.

" No way this kid is the last person I would take with me!" Mario snapped.

" Please take him with you, he is getting on all of out nerves and I don't think we can take much more." Goompa pleaded.

" Fine, but he might not come back." Mario warned.

" Like we care." They all murmured simultaneously accept Goombario.

" Come on let's go." Mario groaned.

" Goodbye everyone!" Goombario shouted.

" Good riddance." Goombaria said.

Goombario joined your party!

Goombario is an annoying happy-go-lucky Goomba. His family hates him and isn't a big help. The only thing he is useful for is his tattle ability which lets him give you a brief description of an enemy and your surroundings. He can also use headbonk, but other than that he is pretty useless.

After leaving the village Mario and Goombario continued on there quest. Mario fought many enemies and Goombario talked endlessly. Then they came to a springboard.

" Okay I just want to tell you something before we move on." Mario said stopping abruptly.

" Yeah what's that?" Goombario said in interest.

" I'm gonna lay down some rules." Mario said demandingly. " Number one, never ever touch me in any kind of way." Goombario nodded happily.

" Number two, if you come within 3 feet of me, you will die." Mario said. Goombario backed away slowly.

" And finally do not talk to me unless you have useful information, or you are dying."

Mario said. " On second thought if you're dying don't say anything, just lie there." Goombario looked at him and nodded slowly.

" Okay let's go." Mario said as he began walking. Right before Mario could jump on the spring board a red and a blue goomba jumped out of no where.

" What the hell?" Mario said jumping back.

" We are the Goomba Bros." The two goombas said simultaneously. " You will not pass."

"Get the hell out of our way." Mario said angrily.

" I'm Red Goomba." The red goomba said ignoring Mario.

" And I'm Blue Goomba." The blue goomba said.

" How original." Mario huffed. Without warning the two goombas jumped at Mario.

BATTLE MODE START! 

" Hey Mario I think you should attack blue goomba first, since he is weaker." Goombario said.

" Don't you tell me how to fight." Mario demanded.

Mario picked up two rocks and through them at the Goombas, knocking them out.

" Whoa." Goombario said in disbelief.

BATTLE MODE END! 

"What a bunch of losers." Mario said walking toward the springboard.

Mario and Goombario jumped on the springboard leaving the two unconscious goombas behind. As they continued walking they came upon a huge castle.

" Wow." Goombario said excitedly.

" Eh, whatever." Mario said walking up to the castle. Mario was about to go up to the door when this huge goomba jumped from the castle.

" Who dares trespass?" the massive goomba said.

" Dude?" Mario asked. " Are you wearing red and white underwear?"

" N-No!" The goomba yelled blushing. " A king does not wear red and white underwear!"

" Well apparently you aren't a king, because you're wearing red and white underwear." Mario said yawning.

" Silence!" the goomba, shouted. " I am King Goomba and my servants and I will make you pay for coming here. King Goomba jumped from atop the castle.

" Red and Blue Goomba, come at once!" King Goomba yelled. King Goomba waited for his servants to come running, but no one came."

"Where are they?" King Goomba mumbled.

" They're back on the path unconscious." Goombario said.

"Damn." King Goomba said sweatdropping. He quickly ran back inside the castle.

" Well that was easy." Goombario said. Suddenly Red and Blue Goomba ran up to the castle and went inside.

" Where did they come from?" Mario said a little surprised. Goombario went up to the door and put his head up against it.

" Where did you put that switch?" King Goomba whispered.

" I put it behind the bushes beside the castle." Blue Goomba said chuckling. " They will never find it there."

"…You idiot!" King Goomba shouted. " Of course they will find it there!"

" Oops, sorry." Blue Goomba said sadly.

" You're such a dumbass!" King Goomba said stomping the ground.

" Maybe you can trick him into not pushing the button." Red Goomba suggested.

" I guess we can give it a try." King Goomba sighed. Goombario raised his head away from the door and ran toward Mario making sure he kept his distance.

" Mario, Mario there's a switch in those bushes over there!" Goombario said. " Maybe you should hit it."

" Fine." Mario said carelessly. He went beside the castle and hit the switch behind the bush.

" Mario don't push that switch over there!" Blue Goomba yelled suddenly.

" Oh yeah, he'll definitely ignore the switch now!" King Goomba said.

The castle began to unfold and showed King Goomba standing on a platform on the very top, but Red and Blue Goomba was no where to be seen, for some reason. The platform began to unfold and revealed it to be a bridge. King Goomba was sent flying into who knows where.

" How the heck did he get way up there without stairs." Mario said looking up.

" Mario we did it!" Goombario yelled happily.

" What did I tell you about talking to me?" Mario said punching Goombario in the face. Then Mario and a beaten up Goombario went over the bridge and proceeded with their journey.

_Oh yay! Mario has beaten a boss who wasn't very hard to start with. Now for the random questions! Will Mario find Peach? Will he find her before Bowser does something terribly wrong and disturbing to her? Where did King Goomba go? Who really cares? Will Goombario ever shut up? Read the rest of this story and you might find out. Unless you really don't care then stop reading it (Only if you want to, but I'm definitely don't want you to stop reading, read as much as you like!) ! _

Authoress' Notes 

Soooo, what did you think? I really worked hard on this chapter so I hope you like it! Review, review, review!


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